And now Marvin Gaye is haunting my brain! Well, at least it’s a sign that my brain can still function. When I hover over the keyboard knowing there’s a word I need but just can’t access, it makes me wonder what is going on in my head. I could blame the ageing process. I always blame chemo lol.
Anyway, today I received a letter from Leeds Teaching Hospitals Trust officially informing me that I should have a third primary vaccination. I had that back in November and the booster in January - I remember that night of rigors and hallucinations! I remember at the time asking my oncologist and various health professionals and no one knew what was going on, then my GP called me in for the Pfizer jab (3rd vaccination) and couldn’t fit me in when it was booster time.
I think the hospitals are a bit behind the times, especially as today I read in the i that the government has scrapped CEV. There is no longer any special provision for vulnerable or immunocompromised people. We just get back to normal. Just like that, we must learn to live with Covid. Unsurprisingly, SAGE disagrees (so much for follow the science) and the Department of Health hasn’t informed the NHS. Arse/Elbow? To make matters worse, according to the ZOE research, Leeds has over 41,500 active cases and still increasing. So much for the pandemic easing off.
How do I feel about there no longer being a special category because the scale of vaccinations has removed the threat to us? Well, I’ve not had a letter saying I qualify immediately for the new antiviral drug if I catch Covid so I’m still a little trepidatious. Having had neutropoenic sepsis with just a runny nose, I feel a bit wary of catching anything. Covid jabs only protect me from Covid. In the last two years of shielding, I must have lost a lot of natural immunity to things like the cold. God help me when norovirus time arrives. I’ll probably hide away all summer.
On the bright side, I’ve visited a cafe (outdoor covered area with Dennis, indoors with Carol because it was so windy) and enjoyed people milling around me. I’ve not yet ventured into a supermarket and the only shops I’ve been in are pharmacies and Lily’s, the florist’s. I bought a beautiful container with primroses- one of my favourite flowers - an azalea, a miniature rose and something else. There are a couple of primroses, but all the azalea buds and rose buds have died. There’s been so much rain, they probably drowned. An expensive primrose plant!! But I’ve bought so many flowers from Bloom and Wild (can you believe I had to go back to our email account and check the bin to find out the name of the company!!) that they gave me 50% discount so I cheered myself up with these. The stocks smell beautiful!
The support group was ok. There was a visiting speaker but it turned out that she was telling grandmothers how to suck eggs. It was about being alert to the warning signs of cancer. That stable door was locked long ago and the horse must be exhausted by now. Some people were a bit cross, especially as she said one or two insensitive things, not understanding that those with Stage 4 are being treated to maintain life, not cured, and there is no exit from it except the inevitable. She’d got our permission to take a photo for her charity’s promotional stuff and I am absolutely mortified. Ok, I was sitting next to a young woman with a steel rod in her spine but the woman with the brightest sweater (me) was slouched, looking about 90 and bored rigid. Actually I was just relaxed but even Dennis asked why I couldn’t have sat up a bit straighter. It didn’t occur to me - I was in a very comfortable chair, thank you very much.
Clinic is on Friday, when I’ll learn what all my contradictions mean. I suspect from what I can feel (hardening and enlarging lumps round my neck and definite pressure on my eye from the swollen lid) that I will move onto IV, something I really don’t want. But if Cape has stopped working, it’s essential - not even a week off to rest. Unfortunately, snow is forecast. Give me a break!!
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