255. Still Stable Mabel

 Yesterday was hospital day, starting with the support group in Maggie’s, which I had to leave early as my clinic appointment was at noon. I didn’t get in to see Dr U till 1.10pm so I could have stayed for the full group session and still had time to spare. But I was fine with the delay. He gives me all the time I need and I like to feel he’s doing that with all his patients.

My blood and tumour markers are moving about, but so slightly that it doesn’t mean much. He didn’t think my skin mets were noticeably changing and suggested the swellings of the eyelid are accumulations of lymph fluid that maybe has nowhere to go. Then he said that he really didn’t understand what was going on himself. I appreciated the honesty. Then he said that, for triple negative bc, things were staying stable and were unusually slow. That explains why I’m past the prognosis lifespan and creating my own. I’m feeling more or less fine on cape and that’s ok with me. 

The scary thing was that, even though I read on the 9th that NICE is delaying its final decision on Trodelvy till mid-August (probably because it had such a huge public response), Dr U told me that they have been told they can put no more patients on the drug. The manufacturers will honour their obligation to anyone already being treated but have withdrawn their current strategy they have with hospitals to complete their trials. So, as a second line treatment, it’s off the board for me. Dr U seemed almost apologetic but I’ve stayed realistic - it was always going to be a risk. So now we wait for our wedding anniversary, rather than my birthday. A few wonder drugs and treatments for stage 4 breast cancer have hit the headlines this week but none of them is for me. Triple negative is a bastard.

Just look at these - tip of the iceberg too

Yes, my birthday has come around again and if I haven’t yet got round to thanking people, a huge thanks for your cards and good wishes and, to Sheila, you know me too well. What you maybe don’t know is that, when something is so perfectly packaged, I often can’t bring myself to dive in and devour the contents!

Dennis just about redeemed himself after a mild altercation the day before when I knew he’d got me nothing. Knowing how hurt I would be, he thought quickly and the next day presented me with last year’s Bryan Ferry boxed set which I’d shown no interest in (would you if an Amazon box was just thrust at you, never mind how ill I was feeling because of the new chemo??). It was beautifully wrapped in Christmas paper this time and took him 35 minutes to get it right. It defeats my understanding how someone who likes everything to be in its place and all in straight lines cannot wrap a simple square parcel in moments! Anyway, it was the 35 minutes that I appreciated most. 

Then Fox & Finch delivered our afternoon tea, intended for my birthday but she was abroad! It came beautifully presented along with a smaller container packed with little extras for my birthday. We sat in the summerhouse (a first for D) and stuffed ourselves. That doesn’t take much for me but Dennis packed it in! And we still had almost a full container to store in the fridge. Guess what today’s food will be!

Summerhouse being used at last