Saturday 24 July 2021

242. Encouraging news

 Just a quickie.

Hospital appointment yesterday, with some reservations - Leeds has the highest Covid rate thanks to Bradford and Delta and of course This Man Is NOT For Turning and his foolhardy decisions; the hospital is in a hotspot and obviously open to anyone (though their precautions are exemplary); and I’m told to shield. I’ve been thinking about this dreadful confinement when I may see probably one person who isn’t Dennis in a whole week - I think my hospital visits are my only socialising outside of my own property! How sad is that?


  I need to give my head a good shake and get back in my car but I feel too wobbly and it’s not just me I’m maybe putting at risk. Hard decision, made easier by the fact that I let my insurance lapse so I can’t drive legally anyway!

Anyway, back to yesterday. My lesions are still softening and Dr U maintains that my eye looks better. I disagree as I’m the one who can feel the pressure from the lumps and, because it’s the eye, he never examines it (that’s left to ophthalmology). The drug is still working as my blood makers are still dropping. We went through all the side effects (I am going to curl up with mortification if he includes it all in his summary letter (I received June’s today and it’s very detailed). There will be comments about constipation and diarrhoea, changing body smells (this is such a weird one, I don’t have the vocabulary to explain beyond one detail - my urine smells very strong, like cats’ pee - something I can smell well after the fact but Dennis assures me it’s just me. That’s a relief).

He wants to keep me on this drug, at this dose, indefinitely (till it stops working). Will quality of life improve as I get used to it? It has to. I did admit that I was lapsing into invalidity/invalidness and he suggested I get back driving so I don’t think he’s quite captured the depths of fatigue I describe to him. 

Kevin and Carol came round today. They married three weeks before we did so have just celebrated their Golden Wedding. I am literally JEALOUS - she has the most gorgeous diamond ring. Anyone heard of chocolate diamonds? I want one but she’s beaten me to it! Meantime, Den and I have agreed to defer our Gold Wedding until I can enjoy at least some food!! One can hardly celebrate such an occasion with a bacon sandwich (my current craving) and microwaved mash, peas and gravy!


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