246. Lamenting for the NHS

 I have to see the funny side of this but I really feel for the poor nurses.

Monday, I had an appointment at 8.45 to see Professor Chang, head of Ophthalmology, at his request I should add. I’m never good at that time of day so I was just about ready when my bowels decided to activate, not a usual occurrence. By the time we set off, we had 25 minutes to do a 25 minute journey but this was rush hour (not bad at all) and school run (horrendous - my language embarrassed even me. Dennis stayed silent.), plus I needed to park as close as possible. There are many ‘disabled’ spots right outside so I swung in, 10 minutes late, only to find they were all taken up. I’d love to have done a badge check!

It’s a horrible place compared
to the Bexley Wing

Eventually I parked in the NCP opposite and used my Blue Badge for the first time - but it meant a short trek and then steps, too many steps, all the time my blood pumping hard, my blood pressure up and I could hardly breathe, I was so exhausted. I then had to queue according to covid rules only to be told I needed to go to another clinic upstairs. No way could I do three flights of stairs. I found the lift. Dennis and I got in with some other bloke going to level 2; we only wanted level 1. The lift moved, the doors opened and we got out, only to find ourselves on the same floor - the lift must have gone down and come back up. Back in the lift, the other man trying hard not to laugh, and we got to Floor 1 which was the cardio floor. I was close to needing it too. So we set off to find a minuscule sign saying Eye Clinic. Den stayed outside, I got registered. I read my wonderful book (The Book of Longings). I got called in for the preliminary eye test, the puffer and the chart, I read some more. Then three of us were called together to be told the doctor wasn’t here so we would need to follow the nurse downstairs where another doctor would see us.

Off we trailed, back down to the original clinic I queued for. Queued again and I was told to take a seat so I started reading again. The woman next to me asked about the kindle and we were just chatting when I noticed a sign saying waiting time could be one to four hours. It was 9.50 by now and I needed to be home by 10 to take my chemo pills. The woman advised me to tell the nurse. I did and was magically transferred to the closer waiting area (felt bad about that). Problem - no room for the doctor when they located her. So the nurse set about clearing space in a junk room. All ready, then the nurse came and said I needed to go back upstairs to the other clinic as the doctor was there. Back we trailed, me in the lift, the others by stairs.

There may have been a doctor (somewhere) but there was no room so yet again, the poor nurse set about clearing space in a junk room! Along came the doctor and they called me first, which was kind of them but I’d never get home in time for chemo, which is a strictly timed schedule. The doctor was probably a teenager, called D. She was very kind and gentle, good bedside manner but, after introducing herself, she asked “How can I help you today?” My lack of blood cells, plus wearing a mask, meant I had to puff out the answer “I have no idea. Professor Chang asked to see me after talking with my oncologist.” She wasn’t aware I had cancer, no idea I had a tumour in the medial canthus that was showing a small progression and so I had to go through the lengthy background just to get to the point where she could help. Suddenly she was so sympathetic, so sorry, that I wondered what it was that I’d told her that made her look at me as if I was going to die!

She decided to look at my MRI. It was literally a junk room for dud equipment and the computer didn’t work of course. She trotted off to consult the consultant and look at the MRI scans together so I was left to more reading. Then she came back and said they had decided that it was a small progression (yes, I told her that earlier) and there was nothing to be done so they’d see me in 3 months. I shan’t hold my breath! So, two and a half hours to be told what I already knew. She did ask if I had any questions so I asked about varying things visible in my eyelid. Yes, they could each be the result of the tumour. Could? I might have an eye riddled with malignant triple negative cells resisting the capecitabine and spreading wherever they wanted! Well, yes. That’s when she looked stricken.

By the time I got home, I was furious. No doctors, no communication, no rooms, poor nurses having to deal with increasingly frustrated patients and so apologetic when it was no one’s fault but really, it did show the NHS is falling apart. A specialist doctor with no access to patient notes??? I missed my morning chemo (a plus for me) but the chemo decided to protest and I’ve been gripped by the Cape runs ever since. I must be shedding pounds.

Rant over.

This month’s bouquet, arranged by Dennis. I refuse to tweak it. I think he’s done a fine job of it, though he doesn’t know a rose from a fern. The light is fading so you cant see the lovely colours.

The highlight of my week so far though - Saturday, Carol drove me over to a new garden centre at Ilkley - we are SO getting old! I’d forgotten my blue badge so it was a bit of a trek for me and obviously there was a lot of walking round, but there were walls to lean on. Such beautiful flowers. I bought a blazing orange and red ranunculus, a pink camellia (mainly to see if I can keep it alive) and a bowl of purple and yellow violas, a little garish but pretty nonetheless. I give them to the end of April! I also bought a lovely gold and clear glass vase for me and a glorious textured blue glass vase for Carol as her 70th is coming up. She was going to buy it anyway so I knew it was a safe a choice. 

As an additional note - Happy Birthday to SHEILA. I did know the date (21st) but didn’t trust the postal service. How they arrived Friday I don't know! And apologies to LESLEY for not replying to her email yet. It gets hard when it’s just cancer, cancer, hospital, cancer. 

EXTRA: my blood and tumour markers remain unchanged. Yippee. PLUS Dennis decided to clean my spa bath. Eventually it was all on the floor too. I didn’t dare interfere, just took a snap!