273. Continuation …

WARNING  - gory details, not for the squeamish or the missish

Borrowed from Dreamstime

Friday I saw the tiniest man ever. Fair enough, I only saw him sitting at the desk and then peering at me between my decorously covered knees but he was like a baby sparrow - with the most beautifully delicate fingers I’ve ever seen on a man (including D who has beautiful hands). Stupidly I told the poor man, who looked a bit bewildered.

He was a Mr L, Consultant Gynaecology Oncologist - see, I go straight to the top lol - and he asked me the same old questions I can chant off by heart now. Then I was asked to go behind the screen, remove my lower clothing and cover my exposed self with the hospital gown provided. It never ceases to amuse me that they have full sight of the most intimate part of one’s body yet insist we patients cover our naked legs, which we expose to all and sundry when it’s warm enough. The nurse clucked round me like a mother hen, drawing the modesty gown further over my knees, presumably so I had no chance of seeing what instruments he held in his hands or notice his expressions.

He did a quick and very gentle examination and declared that my cervix and vagina were healthy and an colposcopy wasn’t necessary (PHEW) but that I required an urgent referral to Urology as he suspects I may have a prolapsed urethra. Eeeek! I’m NOT looking forward to that examination. The ‘urgent’ was because of my medical record - I think that was to reassure me. Tuesday I received a copy of his letter to my GP instructing them to make the referral and specifying the details - a purplish lesion on the urethra meatus. So there we go. Just one problem. I know my body well. I know the distance between the urethra and the vagina and, to be blunt, I know one hole from another (good job too). The “purplish lesion” is definitely attached to the vaginal opening! So now I wait to hear from Urology, not so prompt as Gynaecology. Actually I looked up Urology on the Hospital Trust’s website. 9/10 referrals wait an average of 38 weeks!! The strange thing is that, since the examination, I've had no discomfort, no pain and there seems to be an improvement altogether. Typical me.

I’m fast coming to the conclusion that, at this rate, the only department I won’t have visited at St James’s is Maternity!! Come to think of it, I did visit Anne there when she had Kathryn in 1981 (?).

Monday I heard via the Secondary Support Group WhatsApp that one of our number, Fran, has been moved onto a syringe driver (whatever that is) and doesn’t have long left now. She only went into the hospice for respite care and now they’ve withdrawn her treatment and put her on end of life care. I confess I did cry a little, as much for a ‘friend’ as for me - a reminder that this condition can turn on you at any moment. Now, we’re just waiting for news. I can’t imagine what she is going though, poor woman. And she’s only 50!!