284. Oh Jan, you idiot!

Birthday flowers

You may well be aware of what a moaning Minnie (what my brother David used to call me, thank you Dave!!) I’ve been over the past months. Exhaustion, breathlessness, extreme fatigue….not to mention the insomnia (7.05am yesterday, maybe because I didn’t have a chemo dose the night before?). Soooo many side effects.

Anyway, I got a call from the new oncologist/registrar Dr D. There was nothing to worry about - they always say that - but… Now, my bloods are fast-tracked so the pharmacist can dispense the chemo. It only took 20 days to contact me!! It transpires that my calcium levels are very low. Immediately this surge of guilt swept over me and I ‘knew’ what the cause is. I told him I’d not been taking my AdCal. I really don’t know why. It’s only a chewable tablet, not even repellent. But it was just one more tablet, taken at a different time and I kept forgetting till I had my nighttime medley and then I just thought it wouldn’t hurt to miss it. Eventually I just wasn’t taking them. My vit D was higher than the normal range and my calcium level was good. WAS. So we’re waiting till my clinic appointment on Friday to see if a week of Adcal has done the trick. If not…yes, another treatment!!

When I checked the box, the dispensing date was Dec 2022!!! So I’ve had no calcium supplement for 6 months. As Robert de Niro says, “My bad.” I do feel I’ve been pretty stupid. I googled the symptoms of  calcium deficiency and guess what - everything I’ve been moaning about. So fingers crossed the AdCal resolves it.

My MRI went fine, thanks to a lorazepam lol. My goddaughter took me and waited in the hospital cafeteria. It took 25 minutes to cannulate me. Strictly speaking, each person is only allowed two attempts. The nurse had about 5 goes and the radiographer at least 4! I had a lump like a plum on the back of my hand where the vein ‘blew’ when he tried to test the saline solution and it hit a dead end. I have a 3 inch bruise along the side of my wrist and the usual bruising on my inner arm. Needless to say, that’s where he returned to locate his vein!! It seems my veins are “tired” (huh, tell me about it) and thickened. Odd when my hand and arm look like a rich seam of gold for any phlebotomist. Fool’s Gold, it would seem.

Then I went up to the perfect cafeteria, just like the old days and back to basics. I had a dream bacon and mushroom bap and a crispy hash brown, with 9 chemo pills! Healthy eating isn’t a priority for me lol. As I left, they were putting out the lunch options. I could have stayed all day! It might explain why so many staff are obese though. Never the consultants and mostly women (who obviously predominate in the breast clinics). Anyway, possibly results on Friday but I’d be surprised.

Birthday ‘surprise’

So, my birthday. Why has it taken me so long to work out how to have a good birthday with someone who really doesn’t give a toss?? I booked a table at the Granary, a restaurant I know he feels comfortable in. Dennis had wanted me to book an afternoon tea from Fox & Finch but she couldn’t do the 8th so I arranged that for Friday. I ordered the perfect bouquet online and wrote the soppiest message to me from Dennis (to make him squirm. We chose my birthday earrings together and he tried to order me some little surprises, not easy when 1. He uses my email account and 2. He uses my credit card. I have to laugh. So we had a good two days.

More birthday flowers

I had some lovely presents, starting with Lavenham fudge from Sheila. I’m having to pace myself on that or I’d be on a permanent sugar high. It is gorgeous. Thank you Sheila. Trina of course outdid herself, with so many little extras that I lose track. But I assure you, I smell heavenly. I am overloaded with chocolate (yes, I can keep it for weeks uneaten!!) and there were so many flowers I ran out of vases. . The peonies were spectacular, the roses and lilies glorious. I got a planter of geraniums from Carol and I bought a planter for the front of the house. I also bought loads of books from my brother-in-law, almost all of which I’ve now read - M W Craven (bloody, rogue detective series) and Sarah Winman (exquisite writing). And I got so many cards. Thank you everyone who remembered, even when I don’t remember yours!!

So now I know, there’s no point in feeling resentful every year when D does nothing for my birthday - do it yourself, Jan!! It’s only taken 53 years to work that out. He won’t know what’s hit him when It’s my 75th!