2. Vanity Retrospective

Having gone almost entirely white-haired and bored with the obligatory short cut, I experimented by growing my hair early this year. It’s thick and grows fast, to my hairdresser’s amusement, and “does anything” she wants it to do. The longest it was allowed to get was a shoulder-length bob (hence the choice of picture - vanity) where I felt feminine, a little exotic for my age (67) and bloody irritated. I was even asked by a friendly saleswoman how I coloured my hair so beautifully so it must have taken years off me. It didn’t take long for me to remember the hours wasted in hair care, daily styling, constant fiddling and how much I hated hair blowing around my face. Gradually it got trimmed shorter till I had a nice neck-length short bob I could blow dry upside down. Pimpsy, to borrow my Welsh husband’s term for easy-peasy.

After surgery, Den bravely attempted to blow dry my bob. A slightly scorched ear, plus the knowledge I’d soon be losing it all anyway, led to a simple decision to have a crop. Unable to get to the salon, I arranged a home visit. That was one of the few times I cried: down the phone, trying to explain why I couldn’t get to the salon. ‘I’ve just had a mast - hiccup - mast - sob...’ I got it out eventually. Liz came round, gave me a really short crop (not my first) and promised to return when I needed my buzz cut. Of course, it just grew as fast as ever but there’s no point in another trim. I hate the idea of losing clumps of hair, throwing it away, wondering if I’ve shiny bald spots. I had no idea you lose virtually all hair and I care most about losing my eyelashes (vanity again). Worse, I have Denis Healey eyebrows and visions of losing all the fine hair and being left with those great long spider legs, strong, springy and resilient, standing out at all angles.

I’m booked for what they call a “hair loss consultation” with MacMillan at the hospital. My goddaughter’s taking me to choose my wig and, drawn as I am to something different, even with a bit of colour, I’ll be pragmatic and select a nice white short crop like I’ve got already. My 9-year-old neighbour has offered to lend me her Hallowe’en wig, bless her. It’s a fluorescent pink Flapper bob and I’m tempted! Whether I’ll arrange a buzz cut there, just bite the bullet, I dont know. It’s not the best time of year to lose that warmth and protection and I’ll hate wearing a wig so I’ve already ordered 2 cashmere beanies in White Company’s sale (I’m such a sucker for cashmere) and I’ll get a couple of functional ones from MacMillan. I’m not going scarfy- to me that screams out cancer victim. I’m not feeling that (yet).