107. Rules are rules

I set myself some rules to get me through all this rubbish and they worked. They weren’t conscious. I didn’t sit down and write a list - they just came instinctively.

So here I am, close to the freedom of an NED future, confident that I know what’s what and my oncologist doesn’t.

Rule 1: don’t ask questions you don’t need to ask - ignorance in this case will not be bliss but will be helpful. The less I knew, the less I had to worry about, the less I had to be fearful about.

Rule 2: when the consultant copies you into a letter to the GP, just skim it for the subject, don’t read it in detail.

Rule 3: don’t use Google.

You may deduce from my selected clip-art that today I broke the rules. I not only read both letters from Dr D in detail, surprised that, although she got some of my descriptions of symptoms slightly wrong, mostly she was on the ball. Then I googled the two conditions she mentioned, one to rule out, the other as a possible explanation for what I’m experiencing. All I can say is bring on the MRI asap. I need reassurance now and, if I’m really honest, confident though I am that my symptoms are chemo-related, there’s a sneaky element of fear, of ‘what if she’s right?’  Aaaarggh!

On the bright side, we have a new addition to our Wood View:

             

Wood Loo?                                                                              Just to compensate.