174. Jan lost it (well almost)

Unlike Carol, who lacked the foresight (or the drive of an addict) to plan ahead and buy her Easter Eggs early and therefore spent Easter Sunday feeling a little deprived, I was in the most fortunate position to find myself in possession of THREE Easter Eggs, one a gift, two bought by me four weeks ago (and an extra which belongs to Dennis but I’m sure he’ll hand it over when I look desperate enough). My conscience thought how sad it was that, in the current situation, I couldn’t nip over with one to give her but my common sense questioned if even I could be that altruistic when it comes to chocolate eggs. I don't think I‘d give one of mine to a child even!

As with last year, my attention was on the Cadbury’s Giant Egg. You may remember that, last year, all I could do was look longingly at the egg. I could barely smell it, everything tasted of foaming soap so I knew it was futile trying it, and I seem to recall being a ball of misery having just crashed my car and injured my ribs. In fact, it was the Easter weekend when my GP failed to call back to I was without pain relief for 5 days! So this Easter egg time was going to be extra special.

Until I opened the egg to a hollow of purple foil and a crushed mess which sent chocolate crumbs everywhere. You can’t brush up chocolate crumbs - they just smear. But it broke my heart to suck chocolate up a Dyson, even measly crumbs. Chocolate is chocolate. Anyway, I was straight on the phone to Sainsbury’s Customer Services. Straight? I’d given up trying to contact them:

you listen to a girly voice explaining all the problems and all the alternatives I can try blah blah blah - and then she apologises, the lines are busy, please ring another time.

That’s almost 4 minutes before being told to get lost. I was very experienced as I haven’t received any communication from Sainsbury’s about being on their vulnerable persons list. If the NHS is forcing me to stay within the confines of my home, the least Sainsbury’s can do is abide by its promise and get me on its list, using the government’s data.  I’d been ringing several times a day till I gave up.

28 minutes later, after countless apologies but please hold the line (I’m guessing people didn't bother flooding their service on Easter Sunday but I was Fury embodied and I was On A Mission), I got through to a person. I was seething, fuming; then suddenly I saw how stupid it was so I started with an apology! I ended up sorting out all the problems I was storing up (paid for this, it wasn't delivered; that was leaking; that was an unacceptable alternative but the driver wouldn’t take it back) and then I explained about my poor egg. The disembodied voice, which I recognised from previous contacts, was most apologetic and gave me a refund. I should have moved onto another egg but my heart was set on this one. HOW OLD AM I?

I’m eating the little bits for now so that display of chocolate pieces remains untouched while I mine for gold beneath. I eat eggs very slowly so I think the next month’s chocolate intake is sorted. That doesn’t stop me buying it however. Lisa told me Morrisons were selling boxes of Milk Tray for half price so I ordered 2 on her shop (along with apples and bananas for balance).

On a completely different note, I have finished all 882 pages of The Mirror and the Light, drunk in every word, spotted only one unnecessary comma, learnt several new words which I have since forgotten, AND stayed awake till 4.45 AM, determined to see how she handled the ending. Yes, I knew he died. Yes, I knew he went under the axe. There was zero chance of a different ending but I couldn’t put it down. I call that a good book. Now I can get back to Anton Lessing reading it for the BBC. What a pleasure that is. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000gn66

I’m also listening to Stephen Fry reading the first Harry Potter while it’s free on Audible till the end of April. I’d forgotten how much of the book was based in Privet Drive rather than Hogwarts. Again, how old am I? To balance it, I’m going to try the Royal Shakespeare Company doing Twelfth Night. I’ve been given all sorts of links but I just can’t get into musicals. I’m waiting for some ballet though. I’m sure if I looked, I’d find some. I have enough to enjoy for now, including chocolate scraps.