113. “Moving Forward”

Today I did the Moving Forward course at St James’s. There’s not much more annoying than being a former trainer and attending a course run by a volunteer. I could not let go of my critical hat and the day got progressively less interesting or useful. I’m now embarrassed to admit that, in the comments box at the end I put “Please don’t read from PowerPoint slides. It stops eye contact and communication and reduces the impact of the messages you want us to absorb.” Ouch! Too late to change it.

There were 10 women, all with different forms of breast cancer, at different stages of treatment/freedom and all ages, from a woman with a young family to a couple of elderly women, both of whom are really struggling and were very emotional. The trainer herself had had breast cancer and a breast care nurse ran the first main session, which was by far the most interesting, even if it didn’t address a big elephant in the room - what’s the likelihood of it returning? She explained why a mastectomy was required for DCIS (non-invasive breast cancer in its very early stages) but most of it was about reconstructions, problems with prostheses, how we feel about ourselves etc. I’d say probably only about a third of us had had a full mastectomy without a reconstruction, which surprised me.

I guess the section on emotional wellbeing was interesting, mainly because at last we got to work in small groups briefly and talk to each other, but it was fairly simplistic. I don’t know how it could have been anything different, considering the huge range of feelings we might each have experienced, suppressed or just missed out on. Like me not crying? Then of course, my experience of mental health and mental illness is fairly extensive so I found it annoying to see little tropes like crying being equated with depression. Nope. Real depression is nothing like that.

Healthy eating was uninteresting for me but hilarious in a way because we had to do our own Eatwell Plate in groups. How many times have I seen that bloody plate? How many documents have I proofread documents that focus on it? How many years did I teach it?? Suffice to say, I got the proportions more or less right but the content?? No chance. 2/5 - not bad I guess for someone with little interest in food. And no, it didn’t prick my conscience. It was great to see I feature in the healthy weight category though.

Exercise... least said.... but I do have written in huge letters across my ‘workbook’ BE ACTIVE OR ELSE... and the last bit was about sources of support, most of which I am fortunate not to need. Before you think how arrogant, I mean I’m retired and don’t have financial worries. I certainly need support in terms of breast care and, once I’m driving, I’d like to use the opportunities available at the Robert Ogden Centre. There’s also a new centre opening in October called Maggie’s, which will be the base for counselling and a lot of support therapies, the difference being that the Robert Ogden centre is run by volunteers and Maggie’s will be a ‘professional’ service.

I’ve exchanged email addresses with a woman who lives in Cookridge who gave me a lift home and offered to drive her to the Haven once I’m driving again as she’s avoided it because it’s unfamiliar territory. Maureen did it for me, I can pay it forward. Just hope I don’t jump a red light again lol.

I sat and basked in the sun for 10 minutes in the lunch break and spotted this beautiful rose. I couldn’t quite capture the colour but it’s still lovely:

And I came home to this:    

So what’s my plan of action now I’m all fired up to move forward? Guess.