153. Safe from vampires

One of the great benefits of chemotherapy that is overlooked is how unattractive one’s blood is to vampires.

Of course, you need to have some living nearby, who are short of a regular supply, live by the old rules and I do have to ask myself why they would look at someone skinny like me (though I’m proud to say I’m heading towards 8st 10 now, much to my delight). Oh and they can’t be taking part in Veganuary either.

Today should have been very simple - in and out in 30 minutes. Sadly but inevitably, I didn’t receive the paper work for having a test locally and ease the bottlenecks but they decided it would be fine to do today’s treatment based on December’s blood results, only a few days outside their maximum period. So we went straight in, after I’d taken my first lorazepam  :) Then we got ignored for maybe half and hour. Then the nurse came to prep me and she had three goes at getting a cannula in. Dennis was looking the other way for a long time; I just watched curiously to work out what was so difficult. The first nurse said it was valves in the way, the second said my veins crossed in an unusual pattern (well, of course!) but she got it in and strapped me up before I could say allergic to sticking plaster! I’m hoping I don’t react this time. I didn’t bother with the second tablet, I was too chilled by all this palaver.

I’ve never had a cannula in my thumb before

In goes the saline, in goes the acid, then in goes some more saline - all good fluid which I’m lacking. Then they needed to take a blood test but they couldn’t use the cannula vein as that might be contaminated. The nurses could get the needles in, they just couldn’t get any blood out. Am I that desiccated? It’s not so long since my blood spurted over a doctor, it was that thin! So, with one incipient bruise and a couple of failed pinpricks, I was given the paperwork to see the phlebotomist, She was intrigued and spent ages examining the routes my veins took. Then she selected a route never used before and I watched a tiny lump ballon on my arm about an inch away (turns out the veins crossed paths)while she extracted one phial and said that would have to do. When I said I’d had three drinks, she said that was nowhere near enough. Blimey, that was a good day.                                                    

Problem: I need to be cannula’d for the MRI on Wednesday. They’ve nowhere else to work so good luck there. They’re only allowed 2 goes and I NEED the contrast dye this time so the nurse reckons I’ll be packed off to the phlebotomist. Schedules are tight. Why not send me there automatically, knowing I’m a difficult person to get into. Strange considering my veins spend most of the day vying with each other to see which can stick out the furthest that they actually aren’t accessible.

Maybe this little chap can help (if he can manoeuvre through the battle site. Sorry, building site).