181. Getting increasingly random now...

Starting on a bright note, just look at these glorious peonies. And they have such a fragrance too - just subtle enough to be bearable in a room, unlike Dennis’s favoured lilies. Of course, I had to buy them myself but I’m used to that. Today I informed Dennis that I’d like flowers for my birthday present. His reply: “You can buy them for yourself.” Yes, romance is dead. In fact, romance rarely was there And I killed it off in 1971, not long after our marriage, the day he arrived on our doorstep with a bunch of flowers he’d bought for me in Kirkgate Market and carried all the way home on the bus. What happened? I opened the door to see a huge bunch of white chrysanthemums, the ones with the huge single blooms. They looked like a wreath. I couldn't see Dennis. I think he’d bought a dozen. I burst out laughing.

I never got any flowers ever again, not even last year, although he did carry home on the bus a huge shop display for a Bryan Ferry album that Jumbo was throwing out. It’s still in the garage though Bryan’s head has become detached and may have gone soggy in the floods. I really should investigate.

I’ve been busy knitting mask extenders for the NHS. To be honest, I’m not totally convinced there’s a great demand for them but the logic makes sense. The idea is to prevent sore ears caused by wearing surgical masks hooked over the ears while on duty. One of these 4 x 2 inch strips is placed across the back of the head and the loops of the surgical mask bypass the ears and hook over the buttons. I sent off 24 last week and have another 40 done. Knitting helps my hands a lot (I don’t know why when crochet hurts, as does keyboarding) So it’s been a welcome break for me in between crocheting a blanket for Anne’s three young granddaughters. I’ll dig out a photo.

Dr Kendall rang eventually on Tuesday. “Same time next week” doesn’t mean 9.15, It means any time Tuesday. So I hung around for nothing. Just think - I could have... oh no, I couldn’t. Anyway, the anti-inflammatory hadn’t made a jot of difference but I was on a very low dose so, although he was

dubious, he agreed I could double the dose. I felt an immediate benefit to the backs of my knees so I could walk downstairs at a reasonable pace and looked less like Mrs Overall. But no improvement to any aspect of my feet or hands. On the downside, I’ve been developing fluid retention and today I woke with such a sore throat/cough - and he’d warned me about oesophagitis. So, at his direction, I didn't take any today. I have enough side effects to reduce the side effects without getting more! Doubtless tomorrow I shall be back to the Mrs Overall style of walking. Now I know where JulieWalters got the idea. Meantime, Dr K is consulting Rheumatology and I need to talk to the breast care nurse and see if I can get a phone call with Dr U, the oncologist whose name is on my bloods form for the next zometa infusion. Then, if he confirms that all this pain is likely to be the zometa, Rheumatology can consult with oncology. I can’t even let my mind go to murky territory like ‘what if it’s permanent?’

So now I just wait and see if Dr K gets back to me. He said today but of course he didn’t - this is the one who left me without pain relief last Easter because he forgot to call me. Nice man tho and a lovely telephone voice.