182. Our changing world #6

I made a note to write about my ambivalent feelings about ‘shielding’ and how emotional I was beginning to feel but things change quickly.

I heard one of the medical experts on TV (on one of the rare occasions I tune into anything Covid-related) state that shielding would definitely be extended to the end of June. This at a time when people are being given a slightly looser rein. It felt so unfair and I welled up with tears of...frustration? self pity? I don’t know but, even though it was something I expected, I was still upset.

I’d already experienced a very strange reaction when I heard Dennis having an animated conversation at the door. He’s very friendly towards delivery people and the postmen (we never get a woman) but this went on way too long. Once he closed the door, he brought up a book that my friend had just returned. They’d driven over and the two chatted over a safe distance. I felt like a kid. I really needed to cry. What about me??? She’s my friend and I’m unable to chat with her but I could have chatted through the window or something. I suddenly realised how deprived of social contact I felt.

Then the prospect of another 6 weeks and it was just too much. I could feel a depression coming on and had to take evasive action. I finished the throw I’ve had almost finished months ago and ...

I finished the rainbow blanket I’ve crocheted for Anne’s three little granddaughters (a blanket I shall never ever make again. I hated it by the time I was finishing it and call it my Migraine Maker, not that it ever gave me a migraine but it’s so unrelentingly BRIGHT! Maybe it’s literally an eyesore :) I just hope they love it or it won’t have been worth all my chuntering - knitting is almost painfree but crochet is much harder on my hands right now.





But, as I said, things change. My experiment with the anti-inflammatory drug had mixed results. My knees were way better but my hands and feet were unaffected. Unfortunately my stomach WAS affected so I had to sleep upright and I got other effects. The GP had said if I noticed those, stop. So I stopped, which is a bit depressing. I did persist with the hospital though and, not having heard back from C, my breast care nurse, I rang again. I rang at 4.30 and they finish the support line at 4 so I thought I might hear back in a couple of days. In fact, a nurse rang back at 8.40 next morning so I must have been her first call and she listened (you have no idea how soothing it is to speak to someone who actually understands all the implications of what you’re saying - they hear between the lines). She was insistent that I speak to an oncologist about the pain and I asked if I could speak to Dr U, the lovely oncologist I had in the midst of chemo, since he’s named on my blood forms. I really didn't want to talk to Dr D as she doesn’t ‘listen.’ Her mind is already calculating what the next test/treatment must be and doesn’t therefore show much sympathy though I’m sure she understands. I always feel she wants to give me a kick up the arse - maybe she’s right.

At 2pm, Dr U rang. This suggests they have way too much time on their hands so they must be running a reduced service with most new patients shoved onto hormone therapy to hold the fort till it’s safe to have chemo - but I’m not complaining. It’s excellent service as far as I’m concerned. Anyway Dr U is fairly sure that the problem lies with the anastrozole, the hormone therapy. Back we go then. So he advised me to stop taking it for six weeks, the 4 weeks I tried before not being long enough for joint pain to go away. If the pain is reduced, then we’ll need to look at alternatives (less effective but I’m not going to think about that for now). If the pain isn’t reduced, then we’ll have to consider the zometa infusion but that would be ‘very unusual.’ Ha! He doesn’t know me. This princess can detect petits pois, even bed mites under her 100 mattresses AND she can fall out of bed too! ‘Very unusual’ doesn't seem to apply to me and side effects. So things are looking up - an oncologist confident he has the right explanation but still wanting me to go ahead with anything Rheumatology suggests (if I get a referral).

But it gets better. Apropos nothing (?), Dr U asked how I was getting on with lockdown. I told him I was taking it in my stride and thought we’d had good preparation last year so I was ok to fine. His advice was to adapt the shielding, which policy he doesn’t fully agree with, and GET OUT. What?!? Go for walks (he’s forgotten about my knees and feet lol) and get out in the car. Avoid people and no social contact or shopping but a change of scenery would do me the power of good.  He explained that he adjusts his advice for each individual condition but I am safe enough to go out and that’s his advice. Ok, understood and very very welcome, Dr U. Then he said my next appointment would be a phone consultation because it’s important to keep me safe. Hmmm.  No stopping me now. Off for a drive.  Here’s Adel church hiding behind the unusually untrimmed greenery. It’s a beautiful Anglo Saxon church, the only one in Leeds, though there is an Anglo Saxon cross in St Peter’s in the city centre which was unearthed nearby. And here’s an old house I’ve never noticed before. Unfortunately, it happened to be rather cold and very very windy so no walking, just crossing the road a few times lol. Well, it’s a start.

                 

 

The only problem now is there’s a bright orange spanner on the control panel which indicates the car needs a service. No means of turning it off. Come on, give me a break. I’ve only driven 1000 miles since I bought the damn thing and where do I get a service under lockdown??