53. Oh dear

You may be aware of my weakness for cashmere. I live in cashmere joggers, have countless cashmere jumpers (which I can’t wear again till I get my noob sorted out - a lop-sided chest rather spoils the lines of Jigsaw’s best), scarves, beanies - and bed socks. I bought three pairs in White Company’s sale on Christmas Day, warding off my ‘first chemo’ fears. No, I don’t need an excuse. I bought three pairs because the ones I had had gigantic holes from where I foolishly tried wearing them as day socks. I bought three pairs full stop. Cream, dark grey and cream cabled. I can’t begin to describe how wonderful they feel.

Right now, I’m not really up to a gentle hand wash. My veins are getting tender, my grip is a bit feeble. When I was in hospital, I took the third (unworn) pair, the cream cabled, and they were much admired. Meantime, my well-meaning husband scooped up the laundry and bunged it in the machine. He’s well-trained regarding what can and can’t be tumble dried (following a very expensive loss of clothes when he stopped work and took on all the household chores and made rather a large number of mistakes - what does he understand about fabric??) but I’ve never educated him on cashmere - that’s my job. So... I now have two pairs of cashmere socks that might just about fit a child. I daren’t say anything - that would be so ungrateful. And I still have the one pair.... I shall wait for the next sale as the price is ridiculous.

And I’m thinking, if this is the kind of stuff bugging me, things must be going ok!! Still a fair bit of stomach discomfort from the Paclitaxel and the mouth/saliva problem, but today I went for a short drive and managed fine and I’ve eaten 3/4 of a pizza (close to miraculous). I’m halfway through an Oykos yoghurt, another new addition to my healthier diet I hope. SO It looks like I’ll be able to rearrange my Monday chemos so I can drive to Wharfedale, get my bloods done and then go to St James’s on Tuesdays for chemo, thus not having to waste so much of my friends’ precious time hanging around for results, dose calibrations etc. I know people don’t mind but I do. I’m so grateful for their generosity and want to keep demands to a minimum.