I started with a sore throat and a bit of a cold yesterday and hoped it would be like the last - barely more than a 24-hour blip. I did wake at 6, coughing on phlegm, but that was ok, it was a beautiful morning and I was wide awake. My chest didn’t even hurt, for once. I actually thought things were on the up.
After breakfast and my cocktail of pills, I read the paper and suddenly got one of those awful tickles in my throat. When I tried to cough...well, I don’t know what caused it but I literally could not breathe. It wasn’t panic (I know that only too well) and I stayed as calm as I could and managed to stamp my heels on the floor to alert Dennis. He thumped me on the back a few times and then I could just about breathe again. Must have lasted about 2 minutes. I’ve never had asthma but it wasn’t that.
The only contact I had was the oncology bleep holder (it’s weekend) so, once I could breathe enough to be able to speak, I rang. The fact that I had no temperature made the nurse decide this wasn’t for them so she advised me to ring 111, and they might be able to get a doctor to check me over and provide a nebuliser. I got passed from clinician to clinician. The fourth insisted I went to A&E within the hour and, if it happened again on the way, get the taxi to stop and ring 999. So here we were again...
Ok, I will confess that this is the first time I have felt frightened. I’ve rarely had a cough, never had breathing problems and certainly never stopped breathing. Even the time I got a giant vitamin pill stuck in my throat, I was able to communicate with D well enough to get him to do the Heimlich manoeuvre (well, I tried. He kept saying ‘What?’ So I thumped myself in the gut and out came the tablet).
Anyway, this time I was treated as a priority because I am immune-compromised. Wheelchair, straight into a bay to be assessed and then lots of tests.
I was still very breathless but I did say I thought it was stress after the experience. The upshot was:
1. Blood tests good. No neutropoenia. All markers as expected. (My blood is thin however - the poor nurse who cannula’d me and took the samples got rather a lot of blood over her as it shot out and when another nurse removed the cannula, I bled like a pig)
2. Xrays showed my lungs are clear and healthy
3. ECG fine (and lump in hand is not a symptom of thrombosis - too near the surface)
4. My chest is a bit ‘crackly’ but that’s not surprising given the fact that Paclitaxel has caused a lot of phlegm, as well as that horrid numbness, and my chest injury has made it harder to expel it properly
5. I’m likely to have a virus and I must take great care. It’s madness. I asked what great care I should take and she had no suggestions, except to stress the risk of thrombosis and not to ignore anything untoward. How much more untoward is there than not being able to breathe?
In the cab coming home (I was breathing normally by then), the tickle hit again but this time it didn’t catch me unawares and I was able to deal with it without my muscles going into spasm - cos that’s what I think happened. I did wonder if the Naproxen was a factor - it was the only thing different between yesterday and today. The leaflet identified breathing difficulties, asthma etc as possible side effects but I’ve taken it for short periods before so...regardless, I’m not taking it again. I’ll just suffer the rib pain (even worse after today’s experiences).
It’s on and off now. I get an hour or so where I’m relatively relaxed and just cough gently or clear my throat; then, with no warning, I get the tickle and my throat goes into a spasm. I’m managing it by getting up and walking around and making myself breathe into my abdomen. I’ve had lots of warm drinks and soup. But I’m feeling very reluctant to lie down to sleep. I’ll probably sleep propped upright, like after surgery.
So, after all I’ve been through, we’ve found a chink in the armour and, yes, I feel frightened. Not a good day.
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