I was very amused to see they expanded my 20-word author bio to mention that I’m in their published anthology “Compositions,” as if reading about the cancer experience is going to send everyone rushing to buy their little book. However, it is an enjoyable read and easy to dip into. Me, a published ‘author.’
The peripheral neuropathy is getting worse, which is very depressing. Joyce collected me after tai chi so I could join them for their lunch at Cookridge Hall and Sue brought me back. Such kindness is heart-warming. It was so good to get out and about. But I wasn’t feeling great and am right off my food, which I can’t afford to be. Waking in severe pain isn’t a good way to start the day. It’s swings and roundabouts: I do the exercises to strengthen my stretch ready for radiotherapy and I unavoidably aggravate my healing sternum/ribs. The PN intensifies the pain and I feel like I have a dozen knives slicing into me (no, I’m not exaggerating). But it comes and goes. This morning my fingers and toes and lips were numb and tingly. Right now, at 9pm, my fingers and toes are almost normal, only my top lip feeling swollen and uncomfortable - but my sternum is on fire! Why did no one warn me? I really feel cheated that I haven’t gradually felt better after finishing chemotherapy, and in fact in some ways I’ve felt worse. To read that recovery can take many months or years (and that the PN might never go away) is more than depressing. Grrrr.
My new car came today. Now I have to work towards being able to drive it. Rib pain makes it too risky right now but therein lies my freedom. Now, who do I ask to take me to physio on Friday?
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